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Only In America
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Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than
an ambulance.
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Only in America are there handicap parking places in front
of a skating rink.
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Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the
way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front.
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Only in America do people order double cheese burgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.
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Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then
chain the pens to the counters.
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Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars
in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
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Only in America do we use answering machines to screen
calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone
we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
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Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and
buns in packages of eight.
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Only in America do we use the word 'politics' to describe
the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
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Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with
Braille lettering.
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